I’m exhausted. Simply put and we are just getting started. It doesn’t help that I suddenly came down with a massively stuffy nose, head cold, cough in the last few days. I’m mouth breathing as I type this and I have broke the neti pot out way more in the last 2 days than I have in 5 years. It works for like 5 minutes and then I’m back to mouth breathing.
It’s 10:45p and our internet is turning off in less than 2 hours so I figured while I wait for Brian to get home, I’ll write all about how I’m feeling tonight.
The movers have been here the last two days. Packing things up, moving them out to the truck, and I’ve been purging things. If I haven’t worn it, opened it, or used in the last year, it’s gone. But there are those maternity clothes that I just can’t seem to part with just yet. But that’s a blog for a different day…
My house is quiet. The kids are sleeping. They are exhausted too. We got back a little bit ago from a fiesta party our friends threw for us. These same friends also live right next door and are our neighbors so it’s a pretty easy walk over even despite the windy and rainy Chicago weather. Enchiladas and beers for the adults, mac n cheese and chicken nuggets for the littles. We have a mutual friend and she and her family came over as well. They have a 4.5 year old girl so her and Kenzie have always loved playing together and they also have a 2.5 year old little boy. We ate, talked, laughed, watched the kids play together, and they even put on a fashion show. We ended the night with sprinkle brownies and a Trolls dance party. Saying we are going to miss all of them would be a huge understatement. When you have nice neighbors that’s one thing but your blessed with neighbors who also turn into friends and people that you feel like you’ve known for a very long time is a whole other story. We will miss both families so much.
Why. Why has it not set in that we are leaving tomorrow? Is that strange? I mean, it comes in waves here and there. Yesterday, I was walking through the house looking at it half packed up when I found myself in the basement getting teary eyed looking at the adorable little play house that is built in underneath the stairs. I’ve pictured Makenzie and Brady playing there as they got older. Whether it’s school or house or anywhere their imaginations take them. And out of our entire house it was that little door with the small windows and chalkboard wall that made me shed some tears.
Don’t get me even started on daycare and the teachers there. I have grown very close to many of the teachers at the daycare that Makenzie and Brady go to. The great thing about this generation is that we can stay in touch via Facebook. But it won’t be the same. Watching Makenzie say goodbye to her teachers and her friends tomorrow will be tough. One of her little friend’s came up to me yesterday and said, “Makenzie’s mommy? Do you think Makenzie and I could have a play date when you come back from your vacation?” Bless her heart, I didn’t even know what to say to her. Her question so innocent which made me wonder if Makenzie is really grasping what is about to go down in her little world? And then I think about Brady. He is talking up a storm. New words every day, sometimes multiple words. I am worried that he will regress or stop talking from all the change. Am I being ridiculous? I know at the end of the day, they will adjust although it will take time and it will not happen over night. I will watch him as he turns to his friends and says, “bye bye guys” as he waves his little hands. Unbeknownst to him that this will be the last time he will be in that classroom with his Ms. Katie and Ms. Kim and all his little friends, include Grant and Will. Grant, Brady and Will have all been together since they were infants just starting out. I remember feeling this way with Makenzie when we left the Quad Cities for Chicago as well.
Tomorrow will be crazy and emotional. Our cars will be picked up at 9a and put on a flatbed and driven to CO for us. The movers will be finishing up the packing and then start moving stuff into the truck. And in the meantime I need to start disconnecting from this house. This is the house we bought Makenzie to as an almost 2 year old. We painted her room and applied gold polka dots to one of her walls and made it her own space. This was the house Brian and I went through two miscarriages while wondering if we would ever give Makenzie a sibling. Questioning why and when and then a year later walking through the door with her little baby brother, Brady. This is the place where Makenzie first learned to ride her bike with training wheels and where Brady took his first steps. Where we had Christmas with our families and where Makenzie really started to understand Santa Claus and the Easter bunny.
I know that a house isn’t a home until you make it one. And right now, the house in Colorado is just that, a house. Next week, Brian and I will get there and start unpacking our things and turning the house into a home for us and the kids. We are going to miss our friends and family and the midwest like crazy but like my girl Keeley said to me tonight, it isn’t goodbye, it’s we’ll see you later.