One year ago today

One year ago today I anxiously awoke without my alarm as I could hardly contain the butterflies which were lightly flapping their wings in my tummy. I felt like a little girl on Christmas morning who was about to open up and find out the contents of the biggest gift that was under the Christmas tree just for her. Only today, this gift wasn’t just for me, it was also for my husband. I turned over in bed and studied the face of the man that I married. I envied his long, dark eyelashes and I listened closely to his breathing, so steady, so calm. After a few minutes his beautiful blue eyes, in which he inherited from his mom, fluttered open and a big smile spread across his face.

It was a Thursday, April 26th, 2012 to be exact, and at 9:00 am we had our anatomy ultrasound. From even before this little miracle was a miracle growing in my belly, we both decided that we would not find out the gender of the baby and let it be a surprise. Personally, I am a planner and I wanted to know whether we were Team Pink or Team Blue but Brian felt pretty strongly about this so we remained Team Green. That’s why when Brian came up to me the night before and said, “If you want to find out the sex of the baby tomorrow, let’s do it.” It completely threw me off! I had been prepared to paint the walls a gender neutral color, and buy gender neutral clothes, sheets, etc. so this got my head spinning a little bit.

I spent a good portion of my Wednesday night going back and forth and back and forth. I hadn’t even decided when Brian and I were walking hand in hand in the parking lot of the hospital at 8:45 am that morning. When we were in the waiting room I had said to Brian, “Ok, if this little one cooperates and it is easy to tell if we have a girl or we have a boy then we will find out. If she/he is hiding then we won’t.” Simple enough.

Finally my name was called and we were taken back to room full of expensive ultrasound equipment. I lay down on the ultrasound table just giddy with excitement. If I could have gotten an ultrasound every month I would have. To see the transformation that your baby takes each time blows my mind. The last ultrasound we had was at 9 weeks, when our little one looked no bigger than a tiny gummy bear swimming around in amniotic fluid. To think 12 weeks had gone by since the last time we saw our little bean, we both were ecstatic to see the changes.

The tech started her measurement and after about 10 minutes asked us if we were going to find out the sex of the baby. I told her, “If the baby cooperates then yes but if not, no big deal.” She was quiet for a moment and I was squeezing Brian’s hand for dear life. Finally she started to speak and my heart skipped a beat, I was SO.EXCITED! I remember looking at Brian instantly trying to search his face and expression for a hint of disappointment but all I could see was that same excited smile he had given me that morning. He was now going to know what the expression “daddy’s little girl” truly was all about.

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