It’s terrible to say but from the time I found out I was pregnant in July of 2011, I had a bad feeling about it. I’m not sure what it was or why but in my heart for some reason or another, I knew something was going to go wrong. And I did lose that pregnancy, and it was difficult, and we went through so much between the shot of methotrexate and wondering why it had happened to us. But it brought us close together and we knew that we could try again…
In late January of 2012 a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant again, I was at the gym. I had just started my cardio on the stair stepper when I felt something that just didn’t feel right. I immediately stopped and went to the bathroom and sure enough, I was bleeding. It was 5:30 so my OB office was closed so I called the after-hours line and because my last pregnancy was a suspected tubal, they told me to go into the ER and make sure I wasn’t going through the same thing. Brian was playing basketball and I could not get a hold of him so I gathered myself, wiped away the tears, put my big girl pants on and drove to the hospital which thankfully is right across from our gym.
I got to the ER and they took me back to a room, started taking blood and vitals and I had to just sit there and wait… and think… and pray. It’s all that I could do. Brian had finally got my voicemail and was on his way (or rushing) to the hospital. He welcomed me with a big hug, kiss, and a brave smile. In return, I gave him a shoulder full of wet tears.
35 minutes later the ER doctor came in and said that I had a treatable bacterial infection and my HCG count was 1250 which was great because a few days earlier it was 370. I felt some relief knowing that number should double (or triple) in 48 hours and it definitely had. I also realized that in order to see anything on ultrasound, HCG numbers need to be over 1,000 so I knew either way we were soon going to find out how our little bean was doing.
The time had come for a tech to wheel me into an ultrasound room. It was early, I was maybe 6 weeks but coincidentally enough we were already scheduled for an ultrasound that next morning to make sure Baby Kopecko was in my uterus and not my tubes.
The tech started the ultrasound and she was quiet at first. Brian and I were searching the screen for a flicker of hope. Finally after what seemed like a lifetime she said, “There’s your little baby.” And there Baby K was! The tech turned up the volume and we heard Baby K’s heartbeat for the very first time, which sounded like a freight train. The tech said the heartbeat was very strong and the baby was actually very active. Baby K was in a perfect spot in my uterus and from what she could tell everything was OK. I felt INSTANT relief and at that moment I knew that this little blessing was in it for the long haul.
The ER Doctor could not give me a good reason for the bleeding but they said, “Sometimes it happens in pregnancy. Is it normal? No. But it’s not abnormal either and it happens more than you would think.” They sent me home that night and told me to take it easy for a few days.
I was already scheduled to see my OB the next day and at that appointment, they set up an ultrasound to look at baby in another 2 weeks to make sure everything looked good and that the baby was growing.
Here is the first ultrasound picture that we got. It’s amazing how even at 8 weeks, little arms and legs can be made out. I remember watching in awe at how active this little bean was, kicking legs and moving arms, and I couldn’t feel a thing!